This is Quarantine: Day 47

A few days ago I was thinking about how I should try to stop talking so much about food.

I thought, maybe I could go a whole post without mentioning food. It can't be that hard!

But then I thought, how will I tell people about our first campfire of the season, where we had s'mores cooked a little too long over the fire in cute little foil packets, because I bought mini marshmallows instead of full sized marshmallows and I was trying to win over my daughter, who wanted nothing more than to stick a giant marshmallow on a stick and burn it to a crisp?

It turns out that burning your own marshmallow on a stick is far preferable to your mom burning your s'mores packet. In case you were wondering.

So then I thought okay, after I tell them about that, I'll take a foodie break. Maybe even this whole week I'll make the effort to find other things to talk about. Branch out a bit. Find something new and exciting to write about.

But then I thought about how you haven't heard how my hamburger craving was finally satisfied! Surely you must be on the edge of your seats? It would be pretty insensitive not to let you know that on Friday I made the most flavourful, the juiciest, the most craving-obliterating burgers on the planet. I spent 45 minutes caramelizing onions to put into them. I was generous with the smoked paprika. I snuck grated veggies into them that no-one noticed except that I'm pretty sure they upped the juicy factor. (And I didn't tell anyone so don't spill the beans! Or carrots or broccoli, for that matter.) I slathered them with smoked gouda and sandwiched them between my favourite sesame seed brioche buns and made extra for the freezer to await my next craving. MY-LANTA they were perfect. I didn't even think to take a picture.

Shouldn't you know about that??

And today, as I was lovingly preparing a meal that tickles my fancy and I'm quite sure will tickle no one else's, I started wondering...what are my favourite herbs and spices? Is my Top 5 strange? It has changed over time, and is generally made up of things that I hadn't used much before until I saw a recipe that called to me. And then another. And then I was hooked! What is your Top 5?

Mine is:

1. Smoked paprika
2. Cilantro
3. Mint
4. Cinnamon
5. Turmeric

...

You can see my dilemma. What the heck else am I going to talk about?!

Then again, there is something to be said for playing to your strengths, right? Write what you know. Don't reinvent the wheel, and all that.

So I've made a decision.

If I feel like talking about food, I'm going to talk about food. Which means I'll probably continue to talk about food a lot. Sometimes I'll talk about other stuff. But maybe not.

In other words - Vive le status quo!

Here's a pizza.

This is Quarantine: Day 45

We felt it today. What we're missing. We woke up to a glorious Saturday morning. A lovely surprise, as I had expected a rainy weekend and was prepared for a lot of indoor time. But when I saw the sun and the thermostat in double digits, my plans changed in an instant. 

What should we do??

Where should we go??

Oh, right. 

Not much. Not far.

I'm willing to bet one million smackers that, in a parallel non-COVID universe, today would have been our first long walk to Black Walnut of the season. Several times a year, from about May through October, we grab Gryff and head out along the Thames Valley Parkway, from Gibbons Park, through Harris Park and City Park into Wortley Village, where we rest our feet and fill our bellies at our favourite bakery. It's about 4 1/2km one way, and I am always surprised at a) how short it feels and b) how everyone still has energy for the walk home. I think everyone recognizes that the reward is well worth the effort. Plus, there are several playgrounds, climbing trees and lots of riverside to entertain us along the way. 

Today would have been that day for sure. We all thought it. We all mourned it. And then we got over ourselves.

We took Gryff to a nice open space for a run. We laid on the grass in the sun and checked out the clouds. We held hands and gave shoulder rides and even did a scavenger hunt along the way. We almost had ice cream and brownie sundaes as a reward when we got home, but some ornery behaviour put a hold on that.

We went for a drive, checking out a few houses for sale (not moving, but always looking) and drove through a few of our favourite neighbourhoods. When the kids got bored enough we went home and had a re-do on the ice cream sundaes. 

We went to my happy place. The girls poked around and explored while I found the perfectly angled fallen tree branch on which to recline for one of those perfect little dozes where you can't be totally sure that you nodded off, but definitely achieved maximum relaxation for a few minutes.

J and the girls are still down there somewhere, but someone had to come up and get going on the pizza dough. So here I am, having whipped up some dough and cleaned the kitchen in peace and quiet, letting the dough do it's thing while I mix up a cocktail and chat with you from my sunny little conservatory. 

It almost makes me feel like I may not have missed much after all.

Shenanigans in the Sunshine

This is Quarantine: Day 43

Grocery Day!!!

If you haven't already figured it out, grocery day is my very favourite day of this whole quarantine business. There is such drama with the lead-up...will I remember to add everything to the order in time...what will the store be out of...will the person who does my shopping make good substitutions...did the website randomly change my order again...will someone steal my groceries (happened to a friend of mine!)...will I get distracted by zoom schedules and *gasp* FORGET to pick up my order??!

Groceries and every detail surrounding their selection and procurement really does take up most of my brain space these days.

And today. Today was a real rollercoaster of emotions.

I have been craving burgers since about a day after I did my last grocery trip before lockdown. Of course, guess what I forgot to add to my next grocery order? Ground beef.

So I immediately added it to the following order which, if you recall, would not be for 20 days. Now, just imagine my crushing disappointment when, having struggled with this unsatisfied craving for longer than a month, my grocery haul that day was woefully devoid of ground beef. No ground beef anywhere in the store. Outta luck.

On to the next order. The one I picked up today. Ground beef and flour were the two items that I was desperately pleading with the universe to fulfill. Desperately. I knew not to get my hopes up. But there they were...up.

I checked my confirmation email with trepidation...

Flour: substituted for another brand, but on the list! Hooray!
Ground beef: on the list! Double Hooray!!

I practically skipped to the store, except that I was driving. But I was bubbly with anticipation. I made cheery small talk with the employee, gushing about how excited I was to see him put that giant bag of flour into my trunk. No euphemism intended.

And then at home, as I unpacked groceries...no ground beef.

I checked the receipt, and I was indeed charged for ground beef. WHO WALKED OUT WITH MY GROUND BEEF?!?!?!

I called the store. Please. Please, ma'am. Please tell me that there is a club pack of ground beef tucked away with my name on it??

There was. I went back. I got my ground beef.

All is right in the world.

And after all of that you would think, YOU WOULD SO RIGHTFULLY ASSUME, that we're having burgers tonight.

No sir.

Because tonight is a special night indeed. Tonight we're having TAKEOUT!!!

Oh, the things that make me spill over with excitement these days. Lowered expectations really are a wonderful thing.

J has a meeting for work that was supposed to take place at a restaurant. Instead, it is happening online, and the company is paying for him to get takeout. So we're getting a little extra because who wants to watch him eat takeout by himself?

But M, you ask? What about dessert?

Oh, I'm glad you asked.

The flour thing has been stressing me out a little because I'm going through it like crazy with all of the bread making. And E has been craving ice cream, which doesn't require flour, so I was happy to include ice cream ingredients on my grocery list. We're making peppermint chocolate ice cream as we speak. And brownies. Yes, yes, I know, brownies have flour in them. But only just a little, and they go so well with ice cream.

Grocery day, takeout and ice cream with brownies.

I believe I've scored a quarantine hat trick.

This is Quarantine: Day 42

Little things make a big difference. Here are 10 little things that have made me smile lately:

1. An unintentional heart-shaped pancake

2. A surprise flower delivery from a neighbour

3. Goslings!

4. Losing the nap to gain an early bedtime

5. My new magical happy place

6. Accidentally having all of the ingredients for mojitos!

7. First outdoor run of the season

8. Folding 6 loads of laundry in a day - and putting it ALL away!!!

9. Bread dough that rises like crazy

10. Exchanges like this:

E: *going in for a cuddle with e*
e: Hey! Hands. To. Yourself.
E: Aw, I just wanted to cuddle with you!
e: *sigh* Okay fine. Come over and cuddle.

But just to keep me from losing myself in utter euphoria, it snowed 47 times yesterday.

This is Quarantine: Day 40

Today is my mama's birthday. Her 80th birthday. Don't worry, she won't mind that I told you. She would mind, however, if I missed ANOTHER day of blogging. So this one's for you, mom!

I tell you, birthdays during a pandemic are pretty crapola. I guess the way things are going though, most of us will probably end up getting to experience it once, which will make all subsequent celebrations infinitely sweeter.

In light of this shiny round number, we loosened the restrictions, but only just a tad. We met up with mom and dad at the park across the street from their apartment building. We stayed 6-ish feet apart, most of the time. We hugged virtually and blew kisses. It was a beautiful sunny day, and we got some free entertainment watching the kiddos run around and try to befriend some geese. We busted into a giant peanut butter cup I made for the occasion and spread out at a picnic table for a few minutes. It was quick, but it was nice.

Earlier we had a zoom party with the whole family minus J - my brother in Alberta, my sister-in-law and nieces in BC, and the girls and I and my parents, along with 3 pooches. It was chaotic, as it always is. There were video hiccups, a completely disjointed rendition of Happy Birthday, multiple background changes and some musical chairs. At one point there was a recorder concerto that consisted of a single note played repeatedly at full volume. That was nice.

There are plans for a family reunion in BC in July that are hanging by the finest of threads, and seeing all of our faces together on one screen today made my heart ache a little for what might not be this summer. But, as is more and more common these days, I reminded myself of everything I am grateful for. Everyone is healthy. We can still all be together, though in a different way.

My mom is one of those people who isn't easily disappointed, and I'm hoping that today was as lovely as she was hoping for. And if it wasn't, we'll just have to make it up to her for 81.

Love you mom!

Here's a throwback to a fun memory from last summer, when we were allowed to go out and do stuff:

This is Quarantine: Day 36

I didn't take a single picture today...so that's the kind of day I had.

It wasn't anyone's favourite day. Of course, you gotta have those. And they make the good ones sweeter.

But do you know what I found? I found a magical place, just beyond our backyard, and just before the park that might be my new happy place. I've been there before, and I don't know if it's just the time of year, but walking around in there today was so peaceful, and it was like stepping into another world. I'll go back tomorrow and take some pictures, because I can't seem to find words for it. It's part forest clearing, part marsh, with hanging branches and a mistiness that doesn't seem to exist outside of that one spot. There are old overgrown steps and the remains of an old stone wall leading into it, and it just feels...magical.

Or maybe it just felt that way because that's what I needed today. To escape the nonsense and be transported to another place. It will be interesting to see how it feels tomorrow.

That's all I've got. That, and a cute pic from yesterday to cheer us all up:

Goodnight! xo

This is Quarantine: Day 35

Today's culinary obsession: Cookies!

I was feeling sympathy for my husband today, who has been going into work every day, practicing medicine in a way he didn't sign up for and doesn't enjoy. His frustration was particularly palpable this morning, after the phones in his office went down yesterday, leaving him unable to contact his patients. He went in not knowing whether or not the situation would be resolved.

It got me thinking about what I could do to cheer him up. So naturally, food came to mind. He loves carrot cake, and I have an awesome recipe I haven't made in a while. When I suggested this to the girls, E thought cookies were a better idea. This reminded me that J had actually sent me an article last week with the recipe for the famous Doubletree Hotel cookies.

Jackpot.

If you haven't had the pleasure of these cookies, they are chocolate chip cookies on steroids. Specifically, oat and walnut steroids, and the fact that they're always warm doesn't hurt. The Doubletree Hotel hands them out to guests upon check-in, from a little warming drawer behind the check-in desk. They also sell them, but if you oh-so-innocently sidle up to the desk and inquire where one might be able to purchase some cookies for these adorable children beside you, you might just get lucky and gain access to the complimentary goods. So I've heard.

I guess the folks at Doubletree must have been brainstorming about how they could score some COVID goodwill credit, and someone came up with Let's release the top secret cookie recipe! 

Nailed it.

So we made them. Obviously.

Of course, E had her own ideas and that's how we ended up with this beauty:

Yes, that is, in fact, a chocolate chip cookie pizza topped with chocolate sauce, peanut butter chips and chocolate caramels. Good eye!

Go ahead, have another look:

So don't worry too much about us over here. Aside from requiring every item of clothing we wear to be composed primarily of Spandex, we're good.

This is Quarantine: Day 34

Lone Star tortillas. 

It's the secret to elevating your taco night. 

Back when we lived in Ottawa, I worked for a while in a plaza with a Lone Star. At some point, and I can't remember exactly how it happened, but I started picking up take-out tortillas on my way home from work on taco nights. 

Have you been to Lone Star? Have you had their tortillas? Believe me when I tell you that they are second to none. I had tortillas in San Diego made by hand by an old Mexican lady, using a traditional tortilla oven, and these are every bit as good.

When we first started buying them, they were about $3.50/dozen. More expensive than grocery store torts, but not outlandish. In recent years, they have caught on to my tricks. Maybe it's a growing trend, and I suspect they're not thrilled about people spending a few bucks on torts and making them at home, rather than coming in to the restaurant and buying the whole shebang. As a result, they've upped the price. We are now paying $7.00/dozen, and every time I buy them I swear it's the last time. It's highway robbery! 

But they really are that good. So much better than store-bought.

A few years ago, when the price first started creeping up, I started making them at home. They were good - again, better than store-bought - but still not comparable to LS. And it was a lot of extra work for a working mama with an absentee resident husband. So I went crawling back to Old (expensive) Reliable.

When we moved to London, I was overjoyed to learn that there is a Lone Star in town, and it happens to be ideally located between our house and the girls' school. So, for the past 3 1/2 years, that's our spot. 

Cue pandemic. 

As is probably obvious by now, we are erring on the side of overly-cautious with this whole lockdown business. So for us, take-out is just another unnecessary contact that presents another unnecessary risk that we are not willing to take. Which means...Adios Lone Star.

We went back to grocery store torts. Grudgingly. And we've made it work for a month or so. But we eat tacos weekly, and with every passing week we feel more deeply just what we're missing. 

So it was time to do something about it. 

J spearheaded the mission after last week's lacklustre taco night. It started with his idea to figure out a way to get Lone Star tortillas into the grocery store, and blossomed into a search for the very best homemade tortilla recipe. He learned all kinds of tidbits. Lard gives the best texture. Baking powder yields the chewiness we're after.  Tortilla ovens retail for about $13,000.

We found what we thought was the best recipe, and earmarked it for next week.

Tonight was the night. Taco Tuesday.

On the menu: fish tacos. Another taco-licious discovery we've made is High-Liner Pub Classics English Style fish fillets in the frozen section. They have an awesome crispy breading and make an excellent fish taco. 

The girls and I whipped up the tortilla dough and Chef J manned the cast iron pan. 

The result? SUCCESS!!!

We're not talking Lone Star quality just yet, but give us time. We are invested, and we've got the time. We will perfect our tortilla game. And, with all due respect, we will not be going back to Casa Mendosa anytime soon.

Who wants tacos???

This is Quarantine: Day 33

I feel like the day after a gluttonous holiday is a pretty popular time for people to say Alright! Enough is enough. I'm going to rein it in and stop the madness. No more junk! More moving! 

And then, the inevitable But I'm surrounded by junk! So I should finish that first...

The narrative is all just so old and tired that I can't even anymore.

But I am plagued with the nagging sensation that I should really be getting on with things in a variety of areas of my life. This is not a two week pause button. This is not an extended March Break. This is not even a month hiatus.

This is life.

Life is happening and it's time to embrace the new normal, rather than sitting in a holding pattern, letting my brain and my belly turn to mush.

Sure, there can be still be some of this:

But it really does need to be tempered with a bit of the other stuff too. You know, the stuff that can't be done from a couch with a glass of wine in your hand.

Or maybe it can. In the name of Skills Development.

In that spirit (the productive spirit, not the couch and wine part), today I went for a run. I had the perfect timing worked out, with the girls playing happily together and an hour or so before I planned to walk the dog to pick up J. But then J was done early, so I figured I'd walk to meet him and then workout before dinner. But then J was starving so I decided to workout after dinner. By that time the kids had gotten wind of my plans and e begged and pleaded to workout with me, meaning change into her workout clothes, follow me downstairs and try to convince me to open every bin of E's old toys to play with. I stayed strong and shot her down. Then I headed downstairs, popped in my earbuds, jacked the volume and busted out a half hour run.

I know that was an exhilarating paragraph, but all that to say I stuck to my guns and I feel a heck of a lot better than if I had thrown in the towel when things didn't follow the original plan.

I also did a little music class with the girls. E practiced her flute and asked all kinds of questions I had no answers to, but did my best with the help of Google. e and I played the piano. No, I can't really play the piano, but I can read music and tinker. I'd like to improve, and I'd love for my kids to have more musical ability than I have. So I showed her some notes and played a song or two for her until she got bored. E's music teacher sent them the sheet music for Imagine, so I plugged away at that for a bit, and what I learned was that we desperately need to get someone in to tune our piano. But it was something I had been thinking about doing and I did it and let's call it a success, shall we? Thank you.

Tomorrow I think I'll finally see if I can figure out how to work my sewing machine.

Onwards and upwards! I'm feeling motivated, so I'm going with it for as long as it goes. No promises.

This is Quarantine: Day 32

Happy Easter!

Hats off to the Easter Bunny. That guy doesn't let anything stop him. We also had a visit from the Tooth Fairy last week. Talk about dedication!

The girls were up way too early again, chomping at the bit to load up on chocolate, and who can blame 'em? The Easter Bunny was very busy over here, but was very respectful of e's instructions not to enter their bedroom. She wanted a sign on the bedroom door saying No Bunnies Allowed, and asked me to remind him (if I saw him) that they were sleeping in there and didn't want to be disturbed. Something about strangers in her room, even furry ones with chocolate, didn't seem to sit well with her. E had a similar issue with the Tooth Fairy at one point. Kids these days are much more pragmatic about strangers and candy/cash bribes than when I was a kid. I guess that's why you don't see as many windowless vans around anymore either.

But I digress.

Did you guys spend the day taking all of the sloth and gluttony skills you've honed over the past few weeks and kicking things up a notch?

Us too.

Chocolate for breakfast. With a bread chaser. Bread for lunch. Chocolate chaser. Foggy 4 hour gap...2 hour mom and baby campsite nap...all the hallmarks of a happy holiday.

Our most productive moment came when we dragged E and e outside and they decided to try to dig the Biggest Hole on Earth (like this!) with e's new gardening tools. We also worked on E's science challenge - building a bird's nest that can hold 3 marbles. It's harder than it looks, but as we are blessed with a wild jungle for a backyard, we got a hold of some vines and made short work of it. J also took on the grapevines, pulling and hacking at them to remove their stranglehold on several struggling trees. This is an ongoing battle back there. Mind you, if I thought the vines would produce some quality fruit for wine I'd level the whole lot! Alas, they are simply an extremely invasive nuisance.

If I had to pinpoint the highlight of this time so far, it would have to be this:

There's nothing cuter than snuggling sisters. It's too bad that the Easter Bunny didn't get to see it.

This is Quarantine: Day 31

GROCERIES!!!

Today I picked up groceries for the first time in 20 days and man, it felt good. Did I get everything on my list? Ha! Of course not. But I have another pick-up scheduled for 12 days from now, enough of the basics to last until then, and enough of everything else to last well beyond. So we're good.

There are several advantages to this arrangement...

1. I am FINALLY emptying stuff out of my fridge and freezer. I'm using up odds and ends and freeing up all kinds of space.

2. Clearing out the fridge and freezer makes it MUCH easier to clean!

3. I have never been so amazing at meal planning. I've tried in the past, but never got very far. But I have now completed 4 full weeks of meal planning, sticking to the plan 100%. I have cooked every single meal. I haven't thrown out any leftovers. No take-out. No cereal for dinner. Taking the time to plan out meals I know we will enjoy, and knowing that what I have is what I have, with no extra shopping trips until the next pick-up, has really made me up my meal plan game.

4. I am getting creative! When I find random forgotten gems in the freezer or in the back of the cupboard, I google a few ingredients that I have on hand and come up with all kinds of new recipes.

For example, tonight we had butternut squash and black bean enchiladas. I used up an old package of black beans, and finished a bottle of chili sauce and some chipotle peppers I found in the fridge. Now, the rest of the family probably feels like they got robbed of a proper taco night, but I absolutely loved it.

5. I'm learning to be flexible! We were supposed to have tourtière tonight to make some more room in the freezer. But when I was unpacking the groceries I noticed that my bag of avocados was perfectly ripe. So instead of Taco Tuesday, it became Enchilada Saturday, and I made a big bowl of guac to go with the enchiladas. I know - I'm like some kind of superhero.

Will I be able to keep up this organizational superpower once it becomes safe to go outside again? I'm hoping that by then meal planning will be second nature, and the feeling of sliding the freezer open with ease and not having to empty out half of the fridge to get to my yogurt will be enough motivation to keep things going. But who knows? At this rate I will probably have fully transitioned to a bread-only diet, so I can probably downsize to a bar fridge for my sourdough starter and a couple of pounds of butter.

Not a bad plan, right?

This is Quarantine: Day 30?!

If I hadn't been keeping a (mostly) daily log of this saga, I wouldn't never have believed that we are a MONTH in. 30 whole days.

I have more Tips for you! This one is a great pro tip that I've heard a few times over the years, but has never been more relevant. Ready?

You don't have to show up to every argument that you are invited to.

Good one, right? 

It's good advice anytime. But when the same four people are locked up together for 30 days straight, those invitations come fast and loose sometimes. And you can treat them the same way you treat anyone coming to the door these days. 

No thanks!

I can't see you!

Nobody's home!

*earmuffs* LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!

Trust me. At best, you'll win half the battles. And half of the wins you'll probably end up feeling crummy about anyway. Those aren't good odds.

Practice the art of simply not responding. Change the subject. Agree to disagree. Walk away. Sing a silly song in your head. Pretend to fall asleep. Stuff your mouth full of food. Whatever it takes. But give it a try. We still have a long road ahead of us and there will be no shortage of invitations.

Now that that's out of the way, want to see how my very first loaf of sourdough turned out??

It was delicious. I tried to wait until it was completely cooled as per the instructions, but J is bigger and stronger than me, and has a real thing for PB&J on warm bread. The crust was perfectly crispy, the inside was soft and chewy and the flavour was that perfect hit of "sourness" that I don't get from the cheater recipe. It has a heck of a lot more steps and a much higher degree of uncertainty, but the process was also very satisfying. I'm trying another recipe tonight, and I'll keep you posted on the results.

We had J home today for Good Friday, and if anyone deserves a long weekend it's that guy. Everyone slept in, the TV stayed on for much longer than usual, and we kept up a snail's pace all day. We did ride a few roller coasters and ate a crap-ton of Cheerios in the name of making bird feeders. We went for a walk, about half of us showered and one bed got made. E made dinosoap for e, which was very well received. We had another frenetic FaceTime with the cousins and Aunt Kelly and a more relaxed FaceTime with GrammaPapa and Uncle Timbo. And we rounded out the evening watching Zootopia and eating more cake.

She started off in the basket, but preferred this arrangment.

The girls are still awake in their campsite. I can hear them taking turns being the one who is desperately trying to get to sleep and the one desperately trying to play games and stay awake all night. There was no nap today, so this could really blow up in my face, but I don't have any more bad cop in me tonight.

Que sera sera... 

This is Quarantine: Day 29

It was a perfect day for a birthday.

Well, it could have been warmer, specifically I could have done without the snow, and it sure would have been nice to maybe throw a party where we could invite people or at least hug the people who went to the trouble of stopping by to say Happy Birthday and watch her open gifts from a distance, but other than that? Perfect.

Even if it did start at 6:46am, well before the union-mandated parent-waking hour of 7:30. Apparently you can do whatever you want on your birthday and still get presents and cake.

Cake for breakfast, even.

Before today I had been under the misapprehension that cleaning is strictly prohibited on one's birthday. However, I failed to take into account that in some cases cleaning fits neatly under the umbrella of "anything you want"...

In light of the current state of the world, not much thought was put into proper party planning, meaning that no overarching theme had been established. As it played out though, this year's theme became clear:

I felt a touch guilty serving leftover mac and cheese from the freezer for dinner, but considering that e's favourite dinnertime routine is filling up on pre-dinner snacks in an effort to avoid it altogether, I decided that pouring energy and limited resources into something more elaborate was not nearly as good an idea as reheating leftovers, followed by popcorn and a third serving of cake for the day.

I don't see anyone complaining...

The house is finally quiet for the first time today, there is sourdough rising in the kitchen and a drink at my side.

3 year olds are wild cards, without a doubt. But for every epic meltdown and ear splitting screech, there are an infinite number of smiles, cuddles, adorable moments and hilarious observations. e continues to be a bright light in the lives of all of the people she meets, and I simply cannot imagine what we ever did without her.

This Is Quarantine: Day 28

You got me. I skipped a day.

I mean, once you lose and find a python in your house, well...it's a hard act to follow.

Don't worry, you didn't miss much. We did an Easter craft:

Other than that, it was your garden variety Groundhog Day.

But today is remarkable for one very important reason. Today is the last day I will ever have a 2 year old. (fingers crossed!) When I wake up tomorrow morning, there will be a threenager in my house.

Over the past couple of months there has been some foreshadowing of what life might start to look like sooner rather than later, and I am appropriately terrified. They do also call them the Terrifying Threes, you know.

She is still indescribably adorable.

She is brilliant and sweet and hilarious.

But she is also learning how to hone her sass, her obstinance and man, that volume button keeps getting stuck on MAX these days.

Her newest phrase is one she stole from her always-appropriate father. J likes to good-naturedly tell people to "Shut your gipper!" more often than you might expect, which explains why e's new fave is:

"Hey, Dad! Ship your gippers!"

She's always had a big personality. And she's not a baby anymore. More and more lately she has been reminding me of what a big girl she is, and I've been forced to concur.

Big girls eat their vegetables. (Sometimes)

Big girls ride balance bikes and roller blades.

Big girls can brush their own teeth (sort of) and wipe their own bums. (not on my watch)

Big girls can help set the table.

Big girls can get themselves dressed.

Big girls can handle their own Zoom meetings and tell mama to go away.

Big girls aren't shy, and can say hello to the people we meet.

Big girls can play Jenga.

Big girls can reach tree branches (when sitting on E's shoulders) and turn on the TV (but not quite navigate Netflix) and feed the dog.

I guess I have to stop calling her Baby soon. But I don't care what she says, the name Bubba sticks.

This is Quarantine: Day 26

The snake has been located. 

I repeat, the snake HAS BEEN LOCATED, and is once again locked safely inside its enclosure. For now. 

And you will not be surprised to learn that I am the hero of the day, having found him with my own eyes, and having alerted his owner to its whereabouts with my own shrill yelping. 

I know. It was all very impressive.

It's surprising really, that we didn't notice him sooner. I mean, look how obvious he was:

I'm nauseous just looking at those pics. I tell you, even though I knew he was around, and even though I was looking for him, nothing prepares you for the sight of a loose snake in your living room. 

Now, it did take E about 15 minutes to coax him out of that snug little spot he had, so there was no hissing/lunging/biting scenario that haunts my dreams, but the trauma had already been inflicted. 

I realize that there is no chance that this won't happen again, and that (apart from getting rid of him and breaking my daughter's heart) there is nothing I can do except wait, but at least I know of an elixir or two that can mitigate the after-effects relatively well.

Now let's switch gears so I'm not leaving you with snake nightmares...

Our sourdough starter is on Day 4 today and is looking fantastic!

And the other day, E thought Gryff needed a friend, so she gave him one of her teddy bears. I told her it was a terrible idea, as he is well known for shredding any toy in a matter of seconds. "For Large Dogs", "For Big Chewers", "MAXIMUM TOUGHNESS"...he doesn't discriminate. Instead, he has taken to carrying it around the house in his mouth and napping with it, like so:

So that's pretty cute.

This is Quarantine: Day 25

Let me just start by saying that I love my children dearly and I try my best to accept and appreciate them for who they are...however...

WHAT KIND OF PERSON FORGETS THAT SHE HAS A SNAKE AROUND HER NECK??!!!

People I am telling you, as much as my husband tests me, this girl...whew.

So that's how my day started.

I came downstairs to the usual scene - the girls flaked out on the couch, e watching Paw Patrol, E playing a game on her iPad. I hung out with them for a bit, got myself a coffee and them some cereal to keep them going, and eventually I went into the kitchen to make breakfast sandwiches. J joined me after a few minutes, and a few minutes after that we heard a panicked "Dad! DAD! Dad!Dad!Dad!Dad!Dad!Dad!Dad!!!

Silly me, I thought she saw something super cool in the backyard. So naive.

Nope. She realized, at roughly 10am, that the snake that she had placed around her neck (her unsettling new habit) and brought downstairs at 7:30am was missing. I assured her that when I came down at 9am there was most definitely no snake on her person. Which meant that for at least an hour now, a snake has been on the loose in the house. Again.

Long story short, there was a lot of searching, and as I sit here at 9:18pm, in roughly the same spot where the snake first went missing over 12 hours ago, he is still at large.

Now perhaps you're thinking that I seem quite calm for someone who is any moment away from a face to face meeting with a python. This is true. I am quite calm. I am feeling much, much calmer than I was the first time this happened, only six days after Thriller first came home.

I'm not quite so terrified of finding it in the laundry, in the toilet, in my bed (ugh...okay, still terrified about the bed). I am not quite so terrified of running into it unexpectedly, mostly because I know that I won't be alone in the house any time soon, so there will always be someone who will respond to my screams and deal with the retrieval.

Mostly, I'm just bewildered (no, too mild)...flummoxed? dumbfounded? that someone that I created can so absentmindedly coexist with a python. I mean, where did I go wrong???

Mostly kidding.

What else happened today?

A Jenga Personal Best! 33 completed levels. Beat that! No, seriously. If someone can do better than that I want to hear about it.

We soaked up some sun, had another family workout, skipped someone's nap, regretted it deeply, got her to bed, watched the other one thaw a mouse and place it directly under my seat, and here we are.

And now, just for you, some Closing Thoughts...

There are lots of lists and quizzes and questionnaires going around these days. Man, we're bored. As a result, here's a list that has been composing itself in my head over the last week or so:

Top Eleven Things I Promise I Will Never Take For Granted Ever Again
(in no particular order)

11. A fully stocked grocery store

10. Hugs

9. The freedom to decide, at any moment, to stop at a store, grab a coffee or go out for dinner

8. Earning an income

7. Teachers

6. Housekeepers

5. Universal health care

4. Coffee dates, girls' nights and Cooking Club

3. Travelling

2. Essential service workers

1. My health, and the health of my loved ones

Men vs Women

You guys.

What started out as a 2-week "adventure" has turned into a completely different animal, and the reality is that I can't imagine you all want to hear about the minutiae of my day, after day, after day for the next 12...15...weeks?!

So let's mix it up a bit.

Sometimes I have thoughts that don't pertain to food or how to entertain children. And today I have this thought about the difference between men and women.

Early on in this pandemic promenade, I learned about crazy cake. Sure, I had seen the Facebook posts about it before, but just scrolled on past them. It wasn't until friends started getting resourceful with homebound kids about a month ago that I realized just what a crazy cake was.

In a nutshell, in case you've been hiding under a nutshell for the past month or weren't alive in the Depression years, a crazy cake is a cake that does not use any milk, eggs or butter, and became popular during the Depression when resources were scarce. Sound familiar? As you can imagine, this is right up my alley.

I can have cake, without depleting my egg supply?? And I can use baking a cake to teach my kids something? And then have a cake to eat at the end of it?! Yes please!

This was a very exciting prospect to me, as well as many other moms out there.

We finally made it on Friday, and it turned out beautifully. I served it for dessert on Friday night, and the conversation with my husband went like this:

J: What's the cake for?

M: It's a crazy cake!

J: What's a crazy cake?

M: *full of enthusiasm* It's a cake that doesn't use eggs, milk or butter!

J: *picture the face you make when someone hands you a chocolate chip cookie and announces that they took out all of the chocolate chips for you*...

M: *enthusiasm, tinged with doubt* People used to make it during the Depression!

J: ...

M: *enthusiasm, ratcheted up a notch* It uses vinegar instead of eggs as the leavener!

J: ...

M: *defensive enthusiasm* Apparently it's just as good as a regular cake!

J: ...

M: Science!

J: *expletive*

Men vs. women. The average dude is just not going to be able to wrap his head around the idea that you bothered to make a cake with s&*t ingredients not because you had to, like the people who invented it, but because you thought it would be fun. And when you put it that way...

Dangit! This was still about food AND entertaining children. I give up.

This Is Quarantine: Day 24

Egg drops, focaccia and Jenga, oh my!

E's teachers assigned her class the classic Egg Drop experiment for the weekend. Clearly, clearly, none of them are bakers and have no compassion for those of who are in these dark times. It took every ounce of my sense of altruism to part with one of my last dozen, despite a birthday coming up this week requiring a cake, despite not having my next grocery pick-up for another 7 days with no assurances that eggs will be available at that time. So you can imagine my thinly veiled fury when my husband, who shall remain nameless, DROPPED the egg while preparing it. And it broke. BEFORE THE ACTUAL DROP. For the love of all that is holy, that man tests me. So, while every mitochondrion inside every cell of my body screamed at me to cut them off, I gave them another egg. I'll spare you the suspense and tell you that they managed not to screw it up the second time and the experiment was a success, but I'm not sure how you figure that will bring my egg back.

Speaking of food, because that's pretty much all I think about these days, I am super excited about tonight's dinner situation. A little while back I found an article by David Lebovitz filled with recipes designed to use up what's in your pantry. It turns out that he and I have very similar-looking pantries as well as palates. I scanned the recipes, noting that I had most of the ingredients to make most of them already, and picked out three that I would make for a dinner of appetizers. Tonight is the night! We're having artichoke tapenade, sardine rilletes and fromage fort, courtesy of Mr. Lebovitz. Because you have to have something on which to slather these treats, I am also making focaccia for the very first time. All of these delights will be paired with a Pinot Grigio, because one of the recipes required a couple of tablespoons of white wine and what else can I do with all that extra wine? It's important to use everything up these days, you know.

The Lebovitz Trifecta

The Focaccia Flop

Not-so Photogenic Phyllo

In the end, it seems like maybe David and I should be holing up in Paris together enjoying our shared palate, rather than inflicting it upon our long-suffering families. Does he have a family? Do they realize that they hit the quarantine jackpot? Questions I do not have answers to...

The favourite was probably my own creation - salmon and cream cheese stuffed phyllo. Or maybe the happy accident that came out of it. When I started spreading the filling onto the phyllo sheets I realized that there was only enough filling to cover half of it. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I spread the other half of the sheets with Nutella, sprinkled them with cinnamon and drizzled caramel sauce over the whole thing. Shazam! There ain't many problems that Nutella won't fix.

Yesterday I found myself rooting around our shelves, looking for a couple of books and/or puzzles to share with a friend. She is a brilliant and resourceful friend who routinely shares from her supply, and it was high time that I reciprocate. The unexpected benefit of this activity was finding games and books I hadn't thought of for a while for us to enjoy as well.

Enter: Jenga!

We bought Jenga shortly before e was born, and in the past 3 years it seems like there has rarely been a good time to play it. If the baby was awake, she would just want to contribute...which is not ideal...and if she was asleep, well...also not ideal. So I pulled it out and we played a bit last night before bed, and again this morning. Just as fun as I remember, and though it can be a bit stressful, it's nice to stress out about something trivial for a change. Also, it's very versatile. Used as building blocks, it's great for practicing fine motor control! Behold:

And lastly, another little Expert Tip for you!

Insight Timer. I downloaded this app on my phone several months ago, and have used it sporadically. But in the last four or five days I've used it every night. I don't know about you, but I'm having a tougher time than usual a) going to bed at a reasonable time, b) getting to sleep and c) staying asleep. Insight Timer helps with b) and c), and it has made a big difference. There are all kinds of features to it, but I do the guided sleep meditations, and I fall asleep before getting to the end every single time. The best part is it's FREE! If you're having trouble with sleepy time, it's worth a shot.

Is it just me or did that sound like I was paid to say that? I wasn't. I just like it.

Goodnight!