Saturday, December 11, 2010

Attitude Adjustment

And this is why my blog is good. Good for me, anyway.

I was all set to write a post lamenting the stress in my life right now. How I'm overwhelmed by too many things to do, too many demands on my time and no opportunity to take a step back when I'm about to go over the edge.

Then I thought about how just about everyone else on the planet over the age of twelve could probably say the same thing, especially "during the holidays" (I hate saying that almost as much as I hate saying "in this economy"), and certainly they don't need to hear it from someone else. Of course, I like to think that mine is a special brand of desperation, the depths of which have never been experienced by another human soul, but you're right. Same s&*$, different pile.

So thank you, dear readers, for your honesty and frankness in the reactions that I have projected upon you. Your voices have been heard. Enough complaining, already.

I'm not going to let myself get dragged under the bus of misery where so many people congregate as Christmas looms and obligations and to-do lists pile up. Yes, I'm busier. Yes, I have less time to do things that I enjoy. Yes, my husband keeps getting on a damn plane and leaving me high and dry for days at a time to weather every tantrum and crankfest on my own. But what I need is not, in fact, to sneak off for an extended trip to Vegas with nothing but a bottle of gin to keep me warm...enticing as that is...

What I need is an attitude adjustment. Sigh. My parents were right. I need to look at the things that need to get done and find a way to enjoy them. I need to look at the things I want to do and can't, and look forward to doing them again soon. More and more I've been thinking about being a role model for my daughter, and how I want to show her how to live. I want to show her that having a sense of calm and peace about the way you go through your day can get you a long way. That you always have a choice in how you react to things. That almost everything can have a positive spin, or at least a less negative one. When J goes on interviews it means that I don't even get a five-minute breather during the day, but it also means that I get an evening completely to myself to spend as I choose. When I haven't done any writing all month because my husband keeps absconding with the computer, I get to read a lot more and when I get back to it maybe it will be with fresher eyes and renewed enthusiasm. See? I bet you can do it too.

Today J, E and I started our Christmas celebrations. We went out to family breakfast, then dropped by a CD release party where E listened to her favourite music teacher sing Christmas carols, and bought a Christmas tree on the way home. After naptime we cranked the Christmas tunes and decorated our magnificent tree, stopping to take pictures of the work-in-progress and munch on chocolates here and there. It was pretty close to a perfect day. And that's without any spin at all.

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