Monday, January 24, 2011


E is a talker. It's her thing. I haven't the foggiest idea where she gets it from...

Every time we go to the doctor for a check-up, the doctor asks how many words she's saying and asks for examples. Every time I give an estimate of how many words I think she says, he looks at me sideways, makes a comment along the lines of "Well, if that were true she would be Einstein" and smirks that little smirk of doctors who listen to mothers who think their babies are geniuses all day.

What he fails to understand, of course, is that my daughter is a genius.

Now the whole thing would be much easier if she would play along and deliver an episode of The E Show for the skeptics in the audience. But she never does. She just sits there, doe-eyed, making all kinds of inward observations that she'll no doubt share with me once we are three steps out of the office. And for some reason, I can never come up with good examples of her conversational abilities outside of the generic "I love you" and "Milk please, mama". I go blank. I crumble under his critical glare.

Not this time. I have a feeling that she is at the stage now where she's going to chat her way through the appointment. But just in case she clams up, I'm compiling a list of several of her recent witticisms, for your reading pleasure, for my memory keeping, and for my Doubting Thomas of a doctor who had better get that pen poised and ready. This stuff is pure gold.

"You wanna raisin mama? You want E feed you a raisin? Is it delicious mama? You love it?"

"What we have, mama? We have grapes? How convenient!"

"I wear stethoscope like dada! See you later mama! I go be doctor like dada. I go to work. Actually, I go to interview."

"Ralph! Ralph! What doin' Ralph? You eating dinner, Ralph? You want wet food too? You need wet food Ralph? Oh, buddy. Good boy, buddy."

"You putting on makeup mama? You need some help?"

"All done sleeping mama! E wake up! E wake up five minutes ago, actually."

"These are E's thumbs. E has tiny thumbs. Mama has giant thumbs!"

"What that song about? I like it. I like that song, mama."

"Can we go to gym mama? E go to Childwatch and mama exercise, if you want. We can go Trader Joe's also."

I could go on all day. But the girl is asleep now and I think I'll just enjoy the few hours of peace and quiet before the next episode begins around 7am.

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