Carving out a little family time

Darling husband did, in fact, come home with a lovely pumpkin yesterday, and after dinner we stripped the girl down and dug in. The handy dandy pumpkin carving kit from Grandma and Papa made the whole thing much less violent than usual, what with a selection of stencils and teeny tiny little blades much more suited to precision fruit carving than the machete used in last year's debauchery.

E enjoyed herself, although she didn't dive in elbow deep like I had hoped. She was actually quite reserved, letting out one disconcerted moan when I deigned to drop a string of goop on her arm. With a little coaxing, she participated a bit in the evisceration, but she was much more interested in providing moral support for our pumpkin friend with a steady supply of pats and hugs.

I'm very happy with the end result, both the Jack-o-Lantern and the family time. We had fun, we took pictures, and we were together. That's all this girl wants.

I'm not complaining...

So it turns out that you can't always force people to bend to your will.

I've tried this post a few times but haven't been able to make it not smack of disgruntled housewife.

The good news is that my "I'm too busy" husband and his "Mamaaaaaa, PICK YOU UP!" daughter have left me to my own devices so that I can get some much needed cleaning and decompressing done.

Hello, what's this?

The other good news is that a package has just arrived on my doorstep. I tried to wait, but heck, I'm in need of a little instant gratification...

This, my friends, is a flashback to my university days. My parents can put a care package together like no other. Yes indeed, that is a box of chocolates, Anctil-style. That is to say - a shoebox full of chocolate.

Thanks kids! You've come through in the clutch, once again. And, assuming he does what he's told...(insert sarcasm here)...he will come home bearing pumpkin for us to carve this evening, putting your kit to good use.

P.S. I know, I know. It still smacks. Deal with it.

Family Time

I've decided that our little family needs to spend more quality time together. It seems like there is always a reason to stay home, to not take little trips or make our own special occasions. But now I find that when I look at pictures of my friends with their families enjoying trips to the pumpkin patch or little weekend getaways, it makes me sad to think that we are letting opportunities slip by.

Money is an issue. Time is an even bigger issue with J's ridiculous schedule. And it's so easy to hum and haw over to do or not to do for so long that the window is gone. But if we make it a priority, I'm sure that we can scrape together a few pennies, carve a couple of hours out of the day and find something fun and magical to do.

This weekend I've decided that we're going to do a photo shoot with E in the leaves at Prospect Park. Last year we did it on a day when dada was at work. This year we'll bring the whole family. Even Ralph. Yep, I said it. Even Ralph. He's been the red-headed step-child long enough. Yesterday we were reading Goodnight New York City for the one millionth time, and E was listing all of the places in the book that we've been.

"Bronx Zoo!" (that's a mouthful for a toddler) "E, mama and dada too! Not Ralph."

"Library!" "E and mama! Not Ralph."

"Brooklyn Bridge!" "E and mama and dada too! Not Ralph."

"Park!" "E and mama and dada too! Not Ralph."

Are you picking up on a pattern here? Okay, so Ralph would likely not be welcome at the zoo or the library, but he deserves to be a part of family time too. And spending the whole day outside sounds like just his cup of tea.

This morning mama and Ralph were sitting on the couch and E came over and said "Family hug! Group hug!" Once I disentangled myself from the love-fest I was able to catch these keepers:

Stay tuned for much more cuteness post-weekend...

Change of Plans

The dragon has been slayed. Well, he's fine actually. He has been sold to a lovely boy named Asa and his mom and I'm sure that they will make a truly adorable team.

E on the other hand - thanks to Great Grandma Kay and Great Auntie Tania - has decided to kick things up another notch in the realm of adorable with this little number:

Oh my god I just can't stand it. And neither could the rest of the neighbourhood when we took her out for a test drive on Monday to her Jitterbugs class. This girl was meant to be a fairy. Am I right?

Running with a theme

There is such a gross disparity between the rich and the poor, especially in the United States and, I think, especially in New York. I witnessed a good example of this yesterday.

We spent the evening on the Upper East Side. We had a great time, enjoyed wonderful company and an absolute excess of food. So much food that I saw a tray full of perfectly good cookies thrown in the garbage, and a beautiful, untouched cake that would likely suffer the same fate later in the evening.

We also saw a man on the subway named Jake. When he started talking he sounded like the kind of rough character you see on the subway often. Homeless, hungry and asking for help. But what he said surprised me, and probably everyone else on the subway car. He announced that he is the founder of the organization Hope for Hope. He carries around a bag of food - including sandwiches, yogurt, salads, etc. - and gives it to homeless people. He also takes women and children he finds on the streets and tries to get them into shelters, and takes those who are sick and helps to get them medical care. He was asking for food to add to his supplies or money to purchase more food. I bet some people thought he was lying. I believed him. And I'm willing to bet that he's homeless or close to it as well.

And there you have it. That's humanity. A human being helping other human beings, because he can. He makes no excuses for himself, he just helps. I wish I could have the evening back so that I could give that food to Jake. He is a role model for the rest of us.

Now don't tell me for a second that there's nothing that each of us can do.

Gilbert

Today we were walking by the subway station at the top of our street and noticed a display of flowers by the entrance. There was also a platter of sandwiches and a picture of the man in the wheelchair who usually sits by the stairs panhandling. His name was Gilbert. He died of a heart attack 3 days ago.

When I got home I looked online to find out what had happened to him. This is what I found.

What really got my attention was the comment section. I was absolutely appalled at some of them. I was actually moved to comment myself:

"I can’t believe how horribly uncaring people can be about other human beings. So quick to label good and bad, and to treat accordingly. Gilbert was a human being. He may have done some terrible things, he may have done some wonderful things. I have only lived here for a year and a half. I live on 2nd Street and would see Gilbert at least twice a day. The only personal experiences I had with him involved sweet comments he would make about my daughter, to which I would reply “thank you” and be on my way. To be honest, I didn’t engage him because I was a bit afraid. I had seen him in heated discussions with people from time to time, and didn’t know if he was mentally ill or prone to violence. Having an infant with me at all times has made me wary.

The point is that when I saw the display by the subway entrance today and learned that he had died, I was sad. I was sad because a person had died. This man, like the rest of us, made choices in his life - good and bad. What purpose does speaking ill of him do now? If people want to mourn him, who are you to try to prevent that by trying to tarnish their good memories? What good could you possibly think you are doing? He's dead. If you don’t want to mourn, then go on with your day and show some respect for another human being by allowing others to mourn his loss. He may not have made your choices, or even the right choices, but he had challenges in life like the rest of us, and he lived and died, which is all any of us will ever do."

Is it just me, or have people completely lost touch?

The one thing I didn't mention in the comment, and I'm not sure why, is something that has haunted me for months. One night last winter, I was coming home on the subway alone and decided to fill up my MetroCard on the way out of the station. It was fairly late and there was no one around. I was at the machine and had just finished my transaction when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked over, and inches away from me, right up against the machine was a wheelchair. When I took a better look I noticed that there was a person in it, doubled over with his head right in the corner against the wall. I was horrified. The thought that a human being was forced to endure this kind of indignity and suffering made me physically ill. I'm having a hard time just writing about it now.

I don't care if Gilbert was a drug dealer or a thief. Maybe he deserved to be in prison. But he did NOT deserve to be stuffed into a corner like a bag of garbage. I judge him based on the experiences I had with him, and there were people who cared for him. I can't say it enough. He was a human being. It has really made me stop and think about how I want to treat people in this world, and what kind of person I want to be. I want to be the kind of person that extends a hand instead of turning away. I want to be the kind of person who gives someone the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming the worst. I want to be the person that gives comfort when they have the chance to do so.

I am going to remember Gilbert. And I am going to be a better person for it.

NaNoWriMo

My first thought when I saw this "word" was: Man, what is it with this obssession people have to abbreviate everything??? I mean seriously, WTF?

My second thought, after checking out the website, was: Sign me up!

And so I did. It's part of my unofficial Just Do It campaign to spend less time procrastinating and more time actually doing things. One of those things is writing, and sometimes you just need to be accountable to something to get something done. Wise words there.

And if I wasn't sold before, I just found these beauties. I always appreciate self-deprecating sarcasm.

Hallowe'en preparations

E is going to be a dragon for Hallowe'en this year. Why? Because after agonizing over the decision for months, we found an adorable dragon costume in her size at a stoop sale a few weeks ago for $3. Done.

Now for mom and dad. We think she's at the age now where she'd get a real kick out of seeing us in costumes. She's already obsessed about hers, and she yells "Hallowe'en decorations!" whenever she sees pumpkins on stoops and ghosts strung up in trees. Why not go the whole nine yards and make it a big deal this year? Soon she'll be wanting to be dress up as a "punk" (like mama was in one form or another for about 8 years in a row) and go out with her friends to terrorize the neighbourhood.

We want to do the Ant and the Aardvark, her favourite (and only) show.

But this is proving to be a difficult task. There are costumes that can be purchased online, for the Sale Price of $1049.00!!! So, DIY it is. But I'm at a loss creatively and could use some ideas. I've figured out that I (the ant) will dress all in red and get some red antennae, but how to create the segments? J (the aardvark) will wear all blue, but what to do about the nose? Are there any crafty people out there who can help me out? I guess the second choice would be Sesame Street characters, who she has recently developed a strong affinity for, but there are plenty of years for that. Besides, Elmo and the Cookie Monster are a dime a dozen. I'm willing to bet a lot of money I don't have that we'll be the only Ant and Aardvark comedy team to hit the streets in Brooklyn. With our pet dragon.

Running tunes

I have an unorthodox selection of running music. Part of that has to do with not having added to my music collection for several years, but part of it is just a reflection of the 80's loving cheeseball that I am. Yesterday I finally remembered to bring my iPod to the gym with me, and was reacquainted with the music that kept me motivated during my late pregnancy/early post-natal workouts. Janis Joplin features prominently, as does Queen, but the best running music for me by far comes from good old MJ. It's all I can do not to grab myself and shout "WHOOOOO!" at the top of my lungs on the treadmill, and I feel like I can run for hours to his tunes. You'll never guess which one is my favourite. Go ahead. Man in the Mirror. Oh, stop. It's very uplifting. I'm pretty sure that that song in a continuous loop with Strength of a Woman by Shaggy would get me through a marathon.

Even better the second night...

Here's a shot of the soup I wrote about a couple of days ago, in case you need any more motivation to make it for yourself:

I recommend making a double batch.