I have been diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis Type I. By a four-year-old.
E and I were enjoying breakfast together this morning, chatting and making silly faces. At one point we were opening our eyes as wide as we could…when all of a sudden…her wide silly eyes took on a look of concern.
E: Uh, mom?
E: I think there's something wrong with your eyes.
M: Oh, they're not actually that big, I was just opening them really wide.
E: No, I remember seeing a rash in dad's derm book, and I think you have it.
M: A rash? Where?
E: In your eyes. See? Right there.
M: I can't see my eyes. What does it look like?
E: Well, there's some orange, and some green, and it's all around inside your eyes, and it look just like in dad's derm book.
M: Let's go get a second opinion.
It turns out that my daughter believed she was seeing Lisch nodules, which are spots on the iris that are a symptom of Neurofibromatosis Type I (NF-I), a genetic disorder causing nervous system tumours. (Do yourself a favour and don't Google it.) Now obviously I don't have this…right?
E: Dad? DAD! I think mom has a rash from your derm book in her eyes. Can you look? MOM! Turn on the light! You need the light on.
J: Oh, I think you're talking about NF-I.
J: Are you talking about the spots on the dark part of the eye?
E: Yeah! Does she have them?
J: I don't know…maybe…
E: I told you mom.
J: Well, it's hard to tell because she has brown eyes.
At this point I decided to rescind my consent and terminate the examination. J has a doctor's appointment later this morning. I think I need a third opinion.