Thursday, March 3, 2011

Things I Wish the Universe Would Kindly Explain to Me...

Dear Universe,

Why is it that my daughter feels the need to kick and scream and whine about doing fun things as well as the not-so-fun things? I thought that I wouldn't have to worry about my kid not wanting to hang out with me until she was a teenager.

Why does my hair always look best right before I go to bed?

Why hasn't that horrific fad of wearing your pants around your knees gone away? It's been, like, twenty years or something now. I'd love to wear leg warmers again, but that one only lasted about six months.

Why is it absolutely guaranteed that if I am completely prepared to leave the house for any kind of scheduled activity as soon as E wakes up from her nap, she won't wake up? Conversely, when I decide to use her nap time to completely immerse myself into something riveting, she wakes up early. EVERY. TIME.

Can't we figure out a way to make babies that are already toilet trained, sleep trained, and don't yell at their parents? Maybe if we kept them in longer? I loved being pregnant - I could probably have gone for another six months or so if that would make a difference. Just a suggestion.

Evolutionarily speaking, isn't it about time that dogs stopped shedding?

I appreciate your attention to these matters. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.


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