11:30am EST - Actually leave for the airport
12:30pm EST - ...Aaaand, we're through ticketing about 2 minutes before check-in closes for our flight.
1:00pm EST - Board first flight to Chicago, IL. Consider, again, how much I hate flying into and out of Chicago. Manage to read 100 pages of new book while husband and daughter defeat zombies with garden vegetables. Visit airplane bathroom with child twice.
2:45pm EST - Land in Chicago with exactly enough time to grab a smoothie and pee before...
3:15pm EST - Boarding second flight to LA. Consider the likelihood of actually making next flight with a 33 minute layover. Enjoy another 100 pages of book while husband studied and daughter snoozed on my bladder. Visit airplane bathroom with child four times.
9:10pm EST/6:10pm PT - Land in LA 4 minutes before boarding begins for next flight.
9:20pm EST/6:20pm PT - Run from gate 50 to gate 53 as third flight is boarding. Be grateful for 3-gate commute. Visit airplane bathroom with child for the 7th, 8th and - thank god - final time. Finish second bottle of hand sanitizer.
11:10pm EST/8:10pm PT - Land in San Francisco, CA!
11:20pm EST/8:20pm PT - Walk length of airport several times with 6 pieces of luggage to secure 5 minute shuttle to hotel
11:45pm EST/8:45pm PT - Arrive, exhausted, at hotel. Convince offspring that constant snacking on last flight counts as dinner, wait 3 minutes for her to slip into unconsciousness and order some of the best Italian food this side of Italy. Let the gluttony begin!