Sunday, November 11, 2012

None of us perfect, but some of us funny.

Wife asks husband to pick up 3 items from the grocery store on the way home. The following string of phone conversations ensues:

Call #1
Where is the closest grocery store and how do I get there?

…11 minutes later...

Call #2 
The store doesn't open until 12:30. 
M: It's 12:28.
I know. 

…10 minutes later...

Call #3
Is homogenized milk the same as whole milk?
Why are there so many brands? What's the difference?!
Wait, I'm going to get this one because the expiry date is December. It's more expensive, but the other one is Nov 19.
M: Babe, I'm using it all today.
I know, but it's only $1.25 more expensive, and it's fresher!

…6 minutes later...

Call #4
Someone said aisle 8, but I can't find it. Any suggestions?

…9 minutes later...

Call #5
I did it! I got it all! Oh, man I got so lucky. The guy who told me aisle 8 when I asked (you know, because I did the smart thing and asked instead of walking around randomly) ended up remembering that they had moved it and tracked me down to give it to me!
M: You're my hero.

So before you go and crucify me for belittling my poor husband after he so clearly came through for me in a pinch, let me just say this. What is life if we cannot laugh at ourselves, and those with whom we have chosen to spend the rest of our lives?

Also, if you refer to the highlighted section in Call #5, you will note that My Wonderful, Helpful, Selfless Husband, out of nowhere, decided to seize an opportunity to sucker punch me, his wonderfully attractive and appreciative wife who just fielded all 5 calls with grace and patience, about the fact that when I go into a store I assume that the employees have no idea where anything is (which is almost always the case in a grocery store), and instead apply an educated guessing system for locating items. Out of nowhere he hits me with this. That's ballsy. And after humming and hawing over whether to post this exchange on the internet, that's what sealed the deal in your favour.

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