This Is Quarantine: Day 11

Now that I have 10 full days of this nonsense under my belt, I am pleased to announce that I am officially a Quarantine Expert. That's right, you can stop listening to anyone else. I'm your one-stop-shop for all of the answers.

I have Tips!

1. The next time you're ordering groceries, pick up some balloons!
I pick up my groceries from the Real Canadian Superstore, and they have all the things. But as long as you shop at a big-ish store, perhaps with a flower department, they should have some. And kids will play with those bad boys For. Hours. 

You're welcome!

2. Instead of arguing and pleading with your kids to like oatmeal because it's nutritious and cheap, make Amish Baked Oatmeal instead, and watch them (and your husband) gobble it up faster than you can say "I should have made a double batch". And while you're at it, make a double batch.

My pleasure!

3. Speaking of kids, I have discovered that the secret to getting them to do the stuff you want them to do, is to catch them a)when they're not paying attention, and b) before they've had the chance to formulate their own plans. In order to achieve this, I've been letting my kiddos get up and watch TV in the morning. This is clearly a win-win, as it means that I don't have to get up. But beyond that, it also means that they sit, transfixed, brains securely in the off position, in a sort of holding pattern until I show up (but first, coffee), and SLAM-BANG! TV off, plan for the day ON! Sure, maybe they'll catch on, but so far, it's been foolproof.

Hey, anytime!


I have Observations!

1. Following up on my comments yesterday about people greeting each other more on the street, I am dismayed to learn that social distancing has stripped me of my ability to say anything beyond "Hello!" or "Good morning!" in public. I get so nervous about distance, that I end up smiling awkwardly after an initial greeting, having no idea what to say next. Or if I should say anything at all. Will I freak them out if I say anything else? If I say something else, will they freak me out by starting an actual conversation? Do they have COVID? Do they think I have COVID? And all the while, just standing there smiling, like an idiot.

2. I read a post the other day about how people are clearing the shelves of pasta, except for lasagna. The theory was that even when people are stuck at home with nothing else to do, they still don't want to bother making lasagna.

I disagree.

I believe that many people have found themselves in the same position that I found myself when this whole thing went down. I took stock of my pantry and realized Hey, I have lasagna noodles. Great - I'll make lasagna! Then I went about the business of buying ricotta and ground beef and mozzarella...all the lasagna things...except for the noodles of course because I already had those.

My theory: A huge percentage of the population had the same experience as I did and we all spent some time this weekend making lasagna in a sort of unwitting show of solidarity. Am I right? I'd love to see the numbers on this.

3. 3lbs is the minimum threshold quantity of butter that I require in my fridge to feel prepared for any kind of global emergency situation.


I have Step-by-Step Itineraries!

1. Wake up at your own leisure, thanks to aforementioned TV regimen.

2. Pour yourself a cup of coffee. You deserve it.

3. Offer children delicious breakfast that requires approximately 30 minutes in the oven (Amish
Baked Oatmeal, anyone?) and then SLAM-BANG! TV off, 30 minute cleaning-related chore given to each child.

4. Send fed children to complete their morning routines. Clean yourself up too. You're a mess.

5. Get outside! Draw cheerful pictures and fun prompts (Twirl! Hop!) on the sidewalk, walk the dog, run up and down the street screaming, you name it! Just stay away from people so you don't end up looking like an idiot.

6. If it's grocery day, go pick them up. If you're lucky enough to have a grammapapa close by, pick up a few things for them and meet up in the parking lot to check-in, catch up and receive treats.

7. Make something delicious. Lasagna! Or cookies! Or really anything that takes more time than you would usually spend in the kitchen. If that's your thing. Or, you know, bust open that package of pizza pockets and spend your time savouring every bite instead of just inhaling them. Remember, it's your quarantine. You do you!

8. Workout as a family. It will be super annoying and not very productive, but man it will feel good to tell people you did it.

9. Watch a movie with dinner. In fact, do that every day from now on, even when quarantine is over. It's way less stressful.

10. Start a blog! It's a good distraction from hours of panic-inducing news updates and Facebook posts.


I have Cheesy Deep Thoughts!

This afternoon I made a lasagna (as I believe I've mentioned), and once it went in the oven we all went downstairs for a family workout. It was awesome! (hahahahahaha...ahem.) When I was done, I hopped in the shower and decided it made more sense to put pyjamas on rather than get dressed again. I also decided it was a great time to pour a glass of wine and chill out a bit before dinner.

And as I was slipping on those delightfully comfy pj pants it occurred to me:

I think I'm living my best life right now.

I have time to sit. I have time to play. I have time to cook. I have time to plan. I have time to stop what I'm doing and read e a story because she wants me to. I have time to pause on my way to the kitchen to play "keep up the balloon" with E because she asked me to. I can just sit with J while he tries to figure out things at work because I know he likes the company. And I even have time to do all of those little things that fill up my own bucket, like showering whenever I feel like showering, searching for new recipes, making something from scratch, and watching hilarious videos online.

There are a bunch of posts going around about how the Earth is healing right now as industries shut down and cars are off the roads and such.

I think we might be healing too.

_____

So you see, you really don't need to read anything else while this whole thing transpires. I've got everything you need right here! Plus pictures!