Dear Universe in General,

I'd like to thank you. I'd like to thank those responsible for all of the elements affecting my life that are beyond my control. You play a part in the good days and the bad, and you are comforting to have around.

You see, I quite often disappoint myself for a variety of reasons. And if I had to carry the full burden of responsibility for those disappointments I would surely crumble. But the simple fact is that it gives me comfort to know that sometimes, no matter what, things just don't work out right. Of course, one must be careful to avoid using this fact as an excuse. That's a slippery slope, to be sure.

On the other hand, when I'm beaming with pride and accomplishment over the course of events I have taken, I would be wise to acknowledge the help I have received from you, random though it may seem. No man is an island, and no perfect day comes about by the actions of one person alone.

So thank you mysterious great unknown, including everyone and everything that plays a part in my day. For better or for worse, we are team.

As a token of this gratitude, I will make a concerted effort to consider my impact on the world as part of this "great unknown" for those around me. I will try to be a positive outlook, a smiling face, the neighbour who doesn't mind you blocking the driveway, the person in line behind you at the grocery store who encourages you to go back and get the milk you forgot, thus rescuing breakfast tomorrow morning, the one to be counted on for a kind word when it's needed, and even when it's not.

You're the best. (See? We're doing a great job already.)

Eternally,
M.

Dow's Lake Arboretum, aka Tree Farm

In the book Babar's Family Time, Babar and Celeste take their kids, and a mysteriously ever-present Cousin Arthur, on a family picnic. This is the book that E pulled off of her bookshelf this morning, the very same morning that we had decided to pack up the whole Cowfam (Ralph included) and head to the Dow's Lake Arboretum for some frolicking and picnicking of our own. How fitting.

The Arboretum is not far from our house, and it's not just a bunch of trees. There's a lake (as the name would imply), a pavilion with restaurants and boat rentals, a hosta garden, unlimited walking and biking trails, dozens of ducks, a dragonfly, lots of spiders and even a muskrat or two. Did I mention the dogs? Dogs everywhere. It's a good thing we decided to temporarily lift the ban on taking Ralph out in public for this one. He swam, he played fetch, he collapsed repeatedly in the grass. And he managed to be civil when one or two other four legged creatures crossed his path. Maybe there's hope yet.

As for our terrible two year old, she ran through the grass, she chased dogs and fed ducks, she giggled at the muskrat and even let a spider crawl on her face. And after eating a reasonably healthy lunch she sat down to enjoy her favourite bug of all...the chocolate variety hidden in bumblebee wrapping.

And when Ralph would no longer run and E would no longer chase, we decided to leave on a high note. Sunday mornings aren't always this perfect, but it sure is nice when they are.

Moments that become Memories

Sitting under a huge maple tree, shielded from a sudden summer shower, teaching my 2 year old how to play patty-cake.

Watching her chase puppies in the grass, erupting with giggles and glee as another dog, and another dog join the fun until she disappears in a sea of tails and tongues.

Tearing through the basement together, discovering all kinds of new and magical places in what was previously thought to be a wasteland of boxes and laundry.

Laying in the dark of her room, post-nap, listening to her voice become more and more animated as she describes her dreams in surprising and suspicious detail.

The trips to the splash pad and the ball pit, birthday parties and airplane rides to faraway places  - those are all great and fun, but the time in between is indescribably precious in other ways. These little moments are the ones when we really connect with each other. When I'm not so concerned about wow-ing her, or getting it all in, or waiting for the fun to start. These are the moments that I'll never be too tired or too busy to enjoy. And as accidental and fleeting as they are, these are the sweet moments that will be burned into my memory for a lifetime.

Self Help

I'm hoping that this blog will make me a better parent. Writing things down makes me think about how I've behaved in different situations, and how I would like to have behaved. It also gives me time to see things differently than how they looked at the time that they happened. Maybe after enough looking back I'll be able to put all this hindsight to a bit more productive use, like in the present. Things that frustrate the bejesus out of me in the moment are almost always funny later on.

Take the Why's. Man, oh man, the Why's.

I got an email today from a parents group about dealing with the rigidity often seen in kids in the 2-3 range. I once heard a friend refer to toddlers as fatalists, and I think of that every time I see the expression on E's face when a segment of her orange falls away from the rest of the orange before she had intended it to, or when she removes the entire peel from the banana when she only meant to pull it halfway down. These are pretty serious catastrophes for my little primadonna, and they are very difficult to avoid in a day that will be filled with things that are out of the realm of my control, let alone that of my clumsy toddler. And when she looks at me with tears in her eyes and asks "Why did it do that?! I didn't want it to do that!!!", what can I say? Some days I'm practically in tears myself, other days I am completely depleted of empathy and the best I can offer is the rather dismissive "Chill out sister. It's not a big deal" mantra. And mantra it is indeed, to the point that when I start to freak out I often hear "CHILL UP SISTA!" coming from that little person that used to just cry and poop.

The Why's aren't so bad when they're born of a genuine thirst for knowledge. It's the Why's that proliferate out of an obsessive compulsion to keep hammering that dead horse that really wear a girl down. It's getting a bit outrageous in our house right now.

E: You want some of my food, mama?
M: No thanks. You eat it.
E: Why?
M: Because it's your food.
E: Why is it my food?
M: Because it's on your plate.
E: Why is it on my plate?
M: Because I put it there.
E: Why did you put it there?

At this point, I start looking for a way out. Generally, I have one of two strategies. There's the "I Love You" strategy and the "Circular Stand-Off" strategy.

A. I Love You

M: Because I love you.
E: Why do you love me?
M: Because you're my baby.
E: Why am I your baby?
M: Because I made you.
E: Why did you make me?
M: Because I wanted you.
E: Why did you want me?
M: Because you're so darn cute!
**tickling, kissing, or some other kind of overwhelming bodily torture that will eventually distract her from the line of questioning.**

This one is fairly effective, except that the string keeps getting longer. It used to be that "Because I love you" would suffice, but every couple of days she decides that she needs further elaboration. This strategy is beginning to need it's own strategy.

B. Circular Stand-Off

M: Because it's your food.
E: Why is it my food?
M: Because it's on your plate.
E: Why is it on my plate?
M: Because I put it there.
E: Why did you put it there?
M: Because it's your food.
E: Why is it my food?
**Are you picking up on the pattern here? Because if not, maybe you can come over and babysit for...a year or so.**

This one generally works, so long as I can hold out longer than she can. But she also kind of likes it because it's a game, so I'm not really curbing any future "excessive why-ing" with this one.

I need new material. Back to this parenting website, after perusing their tips on dealing with inflexible offspring, I did a little searching for how to deal with the Why? issue. It didn't start off well. So many comments from people about fostering inquisitiveness and embracing the opportunity to watch your child learn and teaching them that it's good to ask questions, being excited about imparting knowledge...Yes, yes. It's good. Answer those questions. Teach them all kinds of crap. Never a dumb question, yadda yadda. I was starting to feel a little violent.

What I'm talking about is the Why-ing for the sake of Why-ing. The Why-ing when she already knows the answer. The Why-ing when she doesn't actually care about the answer.  That's where I need the help.

The good news is that I picked up one helpful hint. It's a very simple one: Redirection. Several parents commented that when their child asks Why to a question they know the answer to or repeatedly even after the answer is given, they will often ask "Why do you think?" or just "Why?" And apparently it works. Kids feel proud about being able to give the answers themselves. Worth a shot, I say.

Well, just before nap time today the sea was rife with Why's. Why is that dog green? Why does that green dog not match the tree? Why can I only see the dog's tail? Why is that dog not sleeping? (Questions I would eagerly put to Dr. Seuss, if only he was available.) And you know, every time I asked her what she thought the answer was, she came up with one, and as a result forgot to continue asking Why. Genius.

Okay, sure, later this afternoon we got caught up a bit in the "You tell me." "No, you tell me!" switcheroo, but overall it was a winner. Try it yourself. I'm wondering if there's a way to make it work on my husband.

J: Honey, where's E's towel?
M: Where do you think it is???

Date Night!

Coincidentally, a GrammaPapa visit also meant that Mama and Dada were able to experience the ever-elusive Date Night smack in the middle of J's first week of residency hell. We went to this fantastic foodie haven, and had an absolute devil of a time. If you can believe it, my husband made me leave before dessert, mumbling some nonsense about having to go home and "get some work done" before work tomorrow...I'm still confused...but I was nonetheless terribly impressed and cannot wait to go back to try that Lavender Creme Brulee I've heard so much about.

It was divine, and we returned to a bottle of champagne and a cheerful toddler who was happy to retire to her brand new sleeping bag for the evening while two generations her senior retired to their champagne glasses. I can't imagine a better scenario. Here I am with one sip of champagne left, and no need to tiptoe through the house as I get ready for bed as my daughter is safely ensconced in her new coccoon with an every watchful set of grandparents to cater to her every whim. In fact, what the heck am I still doing on the computer...

GrammaPapa come to visit

From her first time sleeping in a camper to WAY more sweets than any child should be allowed to have in one day, it's safe to say that Elle's visit with Gramma B and Papa G has been a success. Some memorable quotes include:

Hi Gramma! Hi Papa! Do you mind if I sleep in the camper?

I had ice cream AND cookies AND chocolate!

I made a man-sized poop!

Yep, that about sums it up. Good times had all around. Not to mention pretty productive, if you know what I mean.

First Day

My husband left the house early this morning for his first shift of what will undoubtedly be a brilliant career as a physician. I felt a bit like a mom watching her baby go off to her first day of school as I watched him walk away with lab coat and stethoscope in place, all too aware of the fact that come September I will be witnessing that milestone too. And although I've only been on hiatus, I will also be returning to work in September. It's a big year for our family. Babies become students, students become doctors, stay-at-home moms become working moms. And it feels like just yesterday I was sitting on a school bus, looking out the window and daydreaming about what life would be like when I grew up. I still don't have the answer to that question, but whatever this is right now feels pretty good.

To Do: More of This

Splash Pad. 

Two words that our daughter loves immeasurably. From her first swimming experience at the tender age of 4 months...

...E has been an avid water baby. She even loves to wear swim hats. Who loves to wear swim hats? My daughter, that's who.

She has several bathing suits in all different hues, one pair of pink swim goggles, one pink swim hat and one large penchant for anything water-related. We've recently discovered that Ottawa has a veritable plethora of outdoor fun-in-the-sun-and-water activities. Here are a few shots of Water Baby enjoying Brewer Park a couple of weeks ago. 

 Ready guys!

 Narrow escape.

 Hey wait! I didn't give you my phone number!

I think tomorrow we'll go straight from pj's to swim gear and discover a new splashy spot to beat the heat, water baby style.

DIY: Canada Day Edition

If you're looking to get the jump on next year, here are some tips I've compiled on planning a successful Canada Day celebration.

1. Move to Ottawa, if at all possible.

2. Understand that, although Parliament Hill looked vast and peaceful when you drove past it last week, there is absolutely zero possibility of your packing a picnic lunch and lazing lackadaisically on the grass while various entertainers, of whom you have an unobstructed view, perform quietly in the background. 

3. Although you will likely have more fun if you bring a child, it will be in the "look how cute my kid is as she runs around pointing at all the flags and yelling Happy Birthday Canada!" sense, as opposed to the "Hey it's a holiday, let's get drunk and party with a bunch of strangers" sense. It's just a different kind of fun.

4. Wear red and white. Or don't. It really doesn't matter.

5. If at all possible, arrive at Parliament Hill early, before anything really starts to happen, then leave before the really exciting stuff happens (i.e. visiting Royals, Snowbirds air show, famous musicians, etc. etc.) It's actually more fun to muse about what's everyone is shouting about two blocks over while enjoying a coffee or some lunch on a quiet patio. Less chance of losing a child or an arm in the crush of rabid Will&Kate-o-philes that way. 

6. It's probably not the best idea to arrange to meet up with someone, particularly someone you haven't seen in 12 years, by hoping to just randomly run into them because you're going to roughly the same place at roughly the same time. Parliament Hill. Canada Day. As plans go, it just not very realistic.

7. Above all, remember the words of Don Cherry. No, not those. That's rude. I was thinking of "Keep your head up and your stick on the ice." It's Canada Day, after all, not Run-around-like-an-idiot-trying-to-prove-that-you're-Canadian-and-only-end-up-embarrassing-the-rest-of-us Day. It's a day to chill out and enjoy a little time with the people we love. And if you're doing that, you're doing Canada Day proud. Now take off the flag and put your pants back on.

I'm in front of Parliament Hill. Oh, you too? Hmm...I don't see you. 

 Look for someone wearing red and white.

Weeeeee!

Making friends!

We're almost a month in to our new city and it's probably time to start socializing a little. It seems like there's always something else to be done, another box to be unpacked, an address change to make, another trip to Wal-Mart, it never ends really. But fortunately for us our neighbours caught us on the way out to one of those neverending tasks a couple of weeks ago and introduced themselves.  We finally managed to make it over to their place for a drink the other night and had a great time. Their names, according to E, are Matt, Basil and 4 month old Husband. Close enough. We enjoyed some beer, some wine, and non-stop conversation for about four hours before we all realized that it was 1am and our children would expect to see us in the morning. E even went to sleep on their guest bed without a complaint until we were ready to go home. Well, no complaints exactly. I did have to go up to her once after hearing loud shushing noises coming from her room, followed by "Stop talking guys. Me and Husband are sleeping!"

For anyone keeping track, that's 2 younger men she now refers to as Husband. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I'm afraid.