This is Quarantine: Day...Oh forget it.

It's safe to say we're well past Day 100 with no end in sight, so I'm going to kibosh the counting. Also, I can't be bothered to count ALL THE WAY BACK to my last entry to figure out what day it is.

I've been remiss.

First, let me clear up a few questions you may have:

1. I did not die.

2. I did not sell my children to gypsies passing through town.

4. I am still making sourdough. And it's only getting better.

5. The girls did wrap up the school year successfully and embarked on their summer "break" this week.

On the other hand, here's something that no one anticipated:

I retired!

Yep, you heard me. As of...well, now...I am no longer working outside the home. It's a little anti-climatic, as I haven't been working outside the home since March, but it represents a huge shift for me.

Working as a massage therapist during a pandemic is a daunting prospect. Social distancing is not possible. Direct contact with a whole bunch of people is inevitable. We were officially allowed to begin working again toward the end of May, and that surprised me. I thought, given the nature of our work and the fact that it isn't "essential", that we would be among the last to be given the green light. I knew when I heard that announcement that I wasn't ready. Soon after, I heard from the owner of the clinic where I work, asking about when I was thinking of returning. As soon as I got that phone call, I knew I wasn't going back.

How could I go back to a high contact situation and feel safe returning to my family at the end of the day?

Who would care for my kids while I go to work, with camps closed?

If camps open, do I feel comfortable sending a 3 year old?

What will happen in September, if schools remain closed or, more likely, students attend school in a part-time capacity?

How is it possible that I got a tax refund last year when I wasn't working, and had to pay an exorbitant tax bill this year when I was??!

There are many people just like me out there struggling with these questions. For some, the answers to those questions are irrelevant, as they don't have a choice about whether or not to return to work. I do have the choice, along with a wonderful husband and family, who threw their support behind me wholeheartedly.

And so, at the ripe old age of 43, I am gracefully transitioning into my "retirement years". They will look different from most. Most people don't retire with preschoolers in the house. Most people don't stop working before their oldest child is out of elementary school. It will likely be several years before I start to feel retired. But I'm okay with that. Truthfully, I am excited at the prospect of focusing on being a mom and a wife for a while. I feel like that's what our family needs right now.

And in that spirit, here are the Top 3 benefits of early retirement:

1. Being able to go to the grocery store (whenever I end up doing that again) when everyone else is at work.

2. Being able to fill my days with whatever I want without having to consider my afternoon nap or my colonoscopy appointment.

3. Being able to say that I retired before my father-in-law.