This Is Quarantine: Day 9

TGIF! Oh wait...

At least J is home for the next couple of days. I really feel for those of us who can't stay home. As difficult as it might be to be cooped up inside indefinitely, it's hands-down easier than going out right now. I get nervous passing someone on the sidewalk while walking my dog. Imagine having to go out and continue to do your job everyday, fearing - let alone, knowing - that you'll come into contact with a sick person. And getting up the next day and doing it again. J's clinic is screening people when they come in, taking temperatures and asking questions. But it's certainly not risk-free.

I spoke to the bank today. There are still call centres full of people showing up to work every day to help people figure their lives out.

I'm going to pick up groceries this weekend. There are still stores full of employees that will pick out your food for you and bring it out, so you don't have to go in.

People are still collecting garbage and recycling.

The lights are on, the water is running, the internet is fast, and life on the inside is very, very comfortable.

I am trying to make a point to say THANK YOU to everyone I interact with who is still out there working, making my life easier.

And in that spirit, I absolutely promise to not spend one minute complaining this weekend. For the weekend I'll have my family with me, safe at home, and it will be good.

Speaking of not complaining, Day 9 had a few bright spots that broke through the rainy grayness:

We made puffy paint and painted shells. (Thank you Mothercould!)

We were planning to try out geocaching for the first time and bring along our shells to hide, but the weather wasn't great, so we decided save it for the weekend when J could enjoy it too.

For dinner, E made the best homemade pizza crust I've ever tasted. (Thank you Bobby Flay!)

It's funny that with all the time in the world this week, we still managed to run out of time for things. E mentioned it too, that although we should be bored, we can't seem to get through our to-do list!

But don't worry, sometimes we're still bored.

So even if TGIF doesn't mean much these days, it still means one thing:

Last day of school for the week!!!

This Is Quarantine: Day 8

Who thought that giving a newly-night trained no-diaper wearer a brand new sleeping bag was a good idea??

This guy.

The same guy who will probably pull it out of the dryer tonight and cross her fingers that lightning won't strike twice.

Because COME ON...camping out in your bedroom with your sister?! SO COOL. There's something about a tent and a sleeping bag anywhere that makes things special. Just ask the two kiddos that haven't stopped asking me today if they can sleep at the campsite again tonight.

Social distancing

Just pretty pretty pretty please make it to the potty tonight? Please?!

__

After yesterday's series of exercises in frustration, I decided to keep it pretty chill today. I had visions of spending all of our waking hours in our pj's camped out in front of the TV. No expectations.

Of course, it never works that way, does it?

The dog still needs a walk. The 2 year old will at some point get bored and want to play. I will soon feel gross and want to wash up and get dressed. I will then feel like everyone else should get dressed too. At some point people will want to eat and I will remember things that need to be done and so maybe it wasn't a total write-off of a day after all. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

We checked out a cool YouTube series that children's author extraordinaire Mo Willems is doing about doodling.

E did another set of word problems, showcasing her brilliance as well as her fiercely persistent inattention to detail.

e and I took Gryff for a brisk run around the neighbourhood and took turns in the lead, yelling "Stay! Behind! Me!" (at e's insistence).

Oh and we watched Frozen I and II. We saved Frozen II to watch over dinner because we knew dad would want to see it. He's a sucker for Olaf.

So there was still plenty of couch and screen time after all. In case you were worried.

This Is Quarantine: Day 7 *addendum

7 days already.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but time has flown.

I haven't been at work for a week.

The girls have been home for a week.

I haven't worn makeup for a week.

I haven't met up with a friend, hosted a playdate, eaten a restaurant, gone through a drive-thru, watched martial arts, or been inside a grocery store for a week.

I have slept less, I have been glued to my phone and my computer more, I have rushed less, I have reached out more.

I have written a ton more.

I haven't gotten as much done around the house as I had envisioned.

I have planned out and prepared meals better than I had hoped.

I am both proud of my homeschooling efforts and excited about the things we haven't tackled yet.

I am still craving that child-free time at the end of the day, but no more this week than any other.

I have mostly managed to stay calm.

I have pleaded with my family to speak to me One. At. A. Time.

And yet, here I sit, contemplating how a week could possibly have gone by already.

But then again, things have been moving quickly.

This time last week, on Wednesday morning, Jeff first suggested that I stop working and keep the girls home. It seemed so overly cautious. I laughed it off.

Thursday I stopped working and the girls stayed home. I felt ridiculous telling my clinic and the girls' camps that we wouldn't be in. Everything was still so normal.

On Friday the message to stay home started circulating. I felt relieved that it wasn't just us hiding out while everyone else continued on as if nothing was wrong.

In 48 hours, things went from totally fine to totally different.

And since then, every day has seen more restrictions, more things shutting down, more evidence that this isn't just going to blow over.

And there is so much information. We are positively consumed by information and warnings and advice and instructions and threats and so many questions and not enough answers, but oh my god enough opinions to sink the Titanic.

You have to be careful. You have to be so careful to make sure to listen to that tiny little voice inside of you that is most certainly being drowned out in the noise right now. Several times a day I have to stop and really strain to hear it:

Just do your best, do what feels right, and it will be okay.

There will be people telling you that you're worrying too much (panicking, freaking out...so many unhelpful words). There will be people telling you you're not worrying enough (in denial, naive, ignorant). They will tell you that you should make better use of your time, that you should spend more time teaching and less time with screens, more time hugging and less time teaching, more time preparing and less time reading the news, more time staying up to date on the latest developments and less time scrolling FB, more time getting fresh air and less time inside, more time checking on others and less time interacting with others...

My wholly unsolicited advice? Try to spend more time listening to that tiny voice and less time listening to all the other loud, judgemental, scary and confusing voices. 

Also?

Allow others to listen to their own tiny voices.

Try to be supportive, with words of encouragement and validation. 

Try to know when to stay quiet, to offer support by allowing others to go inward for advice. 

There are more than 7 billion ways to navigate this, and not one of us is holding the manual.

Just do your best, do what feels right, and it will be okay.

And please stay home.

💛

This Is Quarantine: Day 7

Oh boy, today was a doozy.

There were some really great moments:

Art class

Checking out Mama Owl in Gibbons Park (can you see her??)

Baby owl

"Camping out"

There were also 2 children sent to their rooms by mom at different times, and 1 mom who sent herself to her room. There were arguments, coercion and threats, there were tears and backtalk and sullenness. It was just a day all around.

But there were hugs. There were second chances. There were apologies. And at the end of the day, we are still in this together, and thank goodness for that.

This is Quarantine: Day 6

You have to pace yourself I guess. Rome wasn't built in a day.

This morning the girls eschewed their school uniforms for matching green shirts in honour of St. Patrick's Day. As this was a sanctioned school event, no demerit points were taken.

E had a pop spelling quiz, for the purposes of assessing her current level (so teacher-y, I know), while e worked diligently on her grip strength, fine motor control and creative development (play doh).

After snack time we had PE, where we took a walk around the neighbourhood with Gryff while E and e performed calisthenics (shoulder and piggyback rides, mostly).

I've learned that early morning enthusiasm and the novelty of homeschool can get you through that first work cycle without too much difficulty, but once you loosen the reins it sure is tough to tighten them again. I guess teachers rely on the science of cramming them with food, running them hard and dragging them back to the respite of their desks while they lack the energy to fight too hard. Then, just before their weary heads mistake the desk for a pillow, you sneak a pencil in their hands or a book under their noses and voila! Back to work.

Yesterday I just plain old gave up. I patted myself on the back for a job well done in the morning and let the afternoon unfold as it would, and we were all happy with that.

This afternoon, however, we're back to the grind and I can chalk it up to good old fashioned opportunism. With lunch finished, the girls ran off to play while I cleaned up the kitchen. I was enjoying an internal struggle about when and how to resume class, when I heard those magic words every parent dreams of:

E: I'm bored. Can we watch TV?

AHA! Carpe Whining!

M: Nope! It's time for SCHOOL!

This is a win for a couple of reasons.

1. They had no excuse not to get back to work, as they clearly had nothing else on.

2. The consequence of being given work to do in lieu of finding their own amusement just might reduce the frequency of future proclamations of boredom.

And here I am, feeling like a homeschooling rockstar. Today, the afternoon work cycle; tomorrow, THE WORLD!!! E and I played war to work on her timetables while e revisited the kinetic sand. Today, it's dinosaurs vs trucks in the sandpit. The trucks don't stand a chance.

Now I am completing my daily quarantine assignment while the girls are in music class, composing a musical number entitled The Dinosaur Song.

It's a challenge, and I'm quite sure any educational benefit the girls get from this exercise will fall more into the "maintenance" category rather than "enrichment", but mama sleeps much better with the knowledge that we all put in the effort and a few brain cells were saved from the cesspool of My Little Pony and Try Not to Laugh videos.

After all of that work, the sun finally won the battle it had spent the day fighting against the clouds, so we raced outside for recess. There were balance bikes, Heely shoes, tricycles and skateboards - all the things that have been waiting patiently for Spring and couldn't possibly wait a minute more. It's not nearly as busy on the sidewalks as it would normally be this time of year, but we smiled and called out greetings to those we did see from a polite distance and managed not to run anyone over.

Oh, and did I mention we made a pie?

Killing it.

This is Quarantine: Day 5

It's Monday and you know what that means...Back to School!

Hey!, you protest. It's MARCH BREAK! You can't make me school today!

Well, I have news for you. My kids already had their first week of March Break, and considering we're looking at a further 3 weeks of time off, I figure we can at least wade into the territory of creating pockets of structured learning amidst a sea of brain numbing pretend play and screen time.

Also, when your kids show up after breakfast wearing their matching "school uniforms", asking where the classroom is, you'd be an idiot not to strike while the iron is hot. 

We started off with a short PE period, to get the blood flowing:

Then we headed to the Classroom:

Impressive, isn't it? Everyone looks so studious! Don't worry. I already have a working plan for some School Day 1 vs. School Day 15 photos, and I sure hope they're as hilarious in real life as they are in my head.

But, as they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so here we go.

In Toddler land, we did some sand letters, kinetic sand play and colouring. If you're thinking that Toddler school sounds a lot like Toddler playtime, you're not wrong.

In the world of Upper Elementary, we tackled Social Issues. E and I worked together, brainstorming a plan to try to distribute resources to those in need in our community during this period of social distancing. We made lists, sketched out rough drafts and came up with more questions than answers, but it was a very productive first step.

Gradually, things started to take on a less focused approach, and our student led learning led to lunch. My takeaway from today was that learning can be fun, even on March Break, even at home, as long as you go with the flow.

This Is Quarantine: Day 4

Today I cleaned under my microwave and man, it felt good. Moved it right out of the way and scoured the counter underneath it so that now, when I peek under my microwave (you do that too, right?) I see a gorgeous, smooth surface and I can feel my blood pressure lowering. I think I'll do the drying rack next.

This is what Day 4 looks like.

It also looks like a lot of sibling love. Of course, there are moments of intense sibling displeasure as well...but they are being vastly overshadowed by a ton of giggling, teamwork, affection and blissful togetherness. I have to give heaps of credit to E for this one. e would likely spend every single moment of the day glommed onto E, given the opportunity, and I fully understand how old that can get. But E has not once in the last 4 days insisted on or even requested time away from e. We all need a break, and I've tried to be cognizant of that for everyone in the family, but so far E has been absolutely brilliant with her little sister. She has become Entertainer Extraordinaire, coming up with all kinds of activities and boredom busters to fill the days.

Face paint? Yes please!

Matching outfits? You bet!

Elaborate pretend play with dolls and animals and fairies and superheroes? Naturally.

Nature centre? Yippee!

Secret codes and covert plotting away from the spying eyes of mom and dad? Win-Win!

A big part of this has been tuning into the changes in tone and the flickers of frustration, to mediate when necessary and to perform social distancing within our social distancing. Sub-social distancing? Intra-social distancing? So many buzz phrases, and so much time to contemplate them! But the long and the short of it is that the kids are alright, and that means the family is alright.

However...

I've been struggling a bit with feelings of selfishness in a community sense. In times like these I think most of us would like to do something to help. And while I know, in theory, that by quarantining ourselves we are doing one of the most important things, I know that there are people who are struggling as a result of social distancing, and I feel powerless to help them.

Kids who rely on schools for food and safe spaces.

Homeless people who rely on the kindness of strangers to get them through each day.

Elderly and disabled people who already struggle to have their needs met being further isolated.

Every idea I have to try to reach these people and offer assistance seems to undermine the most important element of fighting this virus.

Can we set up food drop-off locations for people to make donations so that those who need it can come and get something to eat?

Can we set up some kind of volunteer network where people who are confined to their homes have items of necessity dropped at their doorstep?

How do we organize and mobilize these efforts from a distance, and without putting ourselves and our families at greater risk?

I'm going to keep thinking about it, and put some feelers out. This is the first feeler. I'd love to hear from anyone with experiences or ideas that might help us help others.

Metal detector Treasure Hunt!

Valuable treasure

This is Quarantine: Day 3

I started disinfecting e's playroom today. The last time I took on this treat was about 6 months ago, in the process of a grand reorganization, and let me tell you: It's indescribably easier to take on such a task without children actively playing with the items you are trying to disinfect. In a naive effort to combine cleaning with playtime, everything started off successfully enough. I sat at the play table with Lysol wipes and asked e to bring me items from her play kitchen for a wipe down, and then had her bring them back to her kitchen once cleaned. What a great way to involve her in the process and spend quality time together! For about 2 1/2 minutes, which roughly corresponds to the attention span of an almost-threenager.

Soon I was racing to scoop the not-yet-disinfected items from her grasp before she dropped them into a pile of already-disinfected items. I watched with the defeat that every parent knows as she immediately removed all of the newly cleaned and tidied items from shelves and distributed them far and wide across the playroom. I tried for a few minutes to follow her lead and clean what I could as we went before giving up entirely and redirecting myself to making the very best crocodile house out of Magnatiles that I could before she moved on from that too.

Eventually E joined in and it wasn't long before they were starving, giving me a bit of respite in the kitchen to whip up some breakfast. There was some bargaining about smoothies which involved a race with a jelly bean prize. Now they're upstairs doing their morning routines, although I can't remember at what point I added "scream and yell and stomp and scream some more and maybe slam a door or two for emphasis" to the routine. It's not even noon and J and I are huddled around the kitchen table trying to piece together the shreds of our sanity.

Just another relaxing Saturday morning with the kiddos!

---

So how did the afternoon go? I'm glad you asked.

For the second day in a row, hoping desperately once again for an early bedtime, we have forgone naptime, with moderately better results than yesterday. Though that, in part, is thanks to J and I escaping for a spell to take Gryff for a walk while the girls got up to who-knows-what-and-to-be-honest-who-cares at home.

Speaking of Gryff, we spent a good chunk of time today trying to make him into an award-winning scent hound. There were mixed results, but what a great way to all work together on something and  figure out whose dirty clothes are the stinkiest. If you're into that sort of thing.

It was exactly 3:01pm when I first wondered if it was late enough to start drinking. But instead I replanted some aloe plants and went on that aforementioned walk with J and fixed our first drink at approximately 5:01 instead. Very respectable.

We're rounding out the day watching a movie with dinner, and I have to count Day 3 as another success. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be listening to J giggling away at Brave while the girls sit in rapt attention. He is just so damned delighted by a Disney movie that I swear I would marry him again a hundred times. And these girls are just the best when they're not screaming at the tops of their lungs.

This is Quarantine: Day 2

One point about toilet paper. Because I can't wrap my head around the fact that so many people can't wrap their heads around the fact that toilet paper is a daily necessity that will not be available if stores close. And most of us believe that stores will close.

I hear so many comments about how toilet paper isn't useful in coping with a respiratory illness. About how stupid people must be to blindly stock up on something so random. So I just want to clarify for anyone who needs clarification that I didn't stock up on toilet paper because I feared a violent and prolonged evacuation of my insides...I stocked up because if next week the stores decide to close, and they stay closed for a week? 2 weeks? longer?, I want to make sure I have toilet paper to last that long. Did I get too much? Maybe. But I've never sat down and figured out how many rolls we use per week so I could accurately calculate how much I needed in case of a pandemic. Short sighted, I know. And considering that a) it doesn't go bad and b) I will use it eventually, I'll go ahead and err on the side of too much. That doesn't make me a selfish monster. There is the odd person out there being unreasonable about it and stockpiling for the apocalypse, but there always is. Just like there will always be the guy who spent so much time making fun of everyone getting TP for a respiratory illness that he forgot to notice that he's fresh out. But most of us in the middle are, like with everything else, just doing our best and trying to use common sense.

That was a lot of words about toilet paper.

I digress.

Day 2! Still going strong over here. It occurred to me today that this weekend might be particularly hard on my husband. Even though he is still getting out to work during the week, he is the type of person who needs to go out and do things on the weekend. If it gets much past noon and we haven't left the house yet, he gets antsy and grumpy. Even if there is no reason that we need to leave the house. He will invent a reason. He will sit down and grab his computer and think about something he's been wanting to buy and look for a sale. He will wander around the house and look for things that need fixing or replacing and make a list for Home Depot. He will go to Best Buy! Guys always want to go to Best Buy...
But he will NOT be satisfied staying put. Reading in bed? No thank you. Midday movie? Heck no. Board game? Not without sustained begging from E and a stern look from mom. We can do all of those things later. After the sun goes down. But first we must make hay!

I don't remember a whole weekend going by when we didn't go out and do something at some point. I'm interested to see how this goes. Wait a second...maybe, just maybe, I can convince him that this is the perfect opportunity to paint a bedroom or two. Pick up a couple of gallons of paint on the way home, be at home and still be productive. This might be a win-win! I'll keep you posted.

As for the girls and I, outside time has turned out to be key. It's amazing for moms with an 11 year old who loves sudden outbursts of extreme noise pollution and throwing her body around at will. It's glorious for moms of almost-3 year olds whose volume dials are perpetually stuck at "Ear Splitting". It's the reason I'm writing to you right now.

We have a big property that is great for running both the dog and the children. Earlier today we went out and created a giant obstacle/activity course that starts at the driveway, wraps around the back and down the hill and winds back up to our side yard. Right now the girls are back out at the Nature Centre E created to entertain e. Being outdoors lends a sense of freedom to this sentence, which I think will be a lifesaver as time goes on. Who knows? Maybe J will even get started on that treehouse we never got around to building last year!

Oh, right. Expectations. Also key. We're at the beginning of a new adventure that we've never been on before. Everyone will respond to the challenges it presents in our own ways, some days better than others. And so, in an effort to set ourselves and each other up for success, I present to you my newly created:

Seven Secrets to Surviving Self-Isolation (SSSIgh...*) 

1. Keep expectations low.

2. Empathize.

3. Be patient.

4. Be a team player.

5. Allow everyone to have a voice.

6. Listen.

7. Stay positive!

Now, I'll admit, I just invented these. They haven't been plagiarized from a peer-reviewed scientific journal entitled COVID Today or Nuclear Fallout Readiness. So no guarantees. But I might just print them out and display them somewhere prominent and see if it helps. Come to think of it, that's called Phase II Research. I'll expect those journals to be contacting me any day now.

* pretty clever, right?!

Backyard
NOTE: In the distance, you will see a deer to the right of the
beech tree and to the left, if you squint, a coyote. It's better than
the Discovery channel back there!
**no animals were harmed during this encounter...miraculously.

This Is Quarantine: Day 1

Let me explain.

I realize that no one on the planet right now is confused about what that title might refer to, but with any luck in a few years this moment in time will be such a distant memory that memories will require jogging.

COVID-19 has been circulating for the last few months, but very recently the situation has escalated rather quickly. It feels like here in Canada we have reached a tipping point. In Ontario, it seems to have occurred specifically somewhere around 4pm yesterday, when decisions were made to close schools after March Break and our prime minister's wife was diagnosed with the illness. And here we are. Quarantined.

Thanks to my husband's arguably pre-emptive "sky is falling" mentality, we managed to sneak in our preparations slightly under the wire, thus avoiding long lines and empty shelves. As of Thursday, after a lot of discussion, we decided that the girls and I would stay home from work/camps/school for the next little while. J will continue to go to work, but is considering closing the clinic and taking telephone consults from home if it comes to that.

Is quarantine the right decision? It feels like it. And while we can all drive ourselves crazy by overthinking and second guessing, I'm sticking with my guts on this one. My family and I are very fortunate. My job is not essential to our financial stability. Not to mention that there is no way to practice as a massage therapist without coming into close contact with people. For these reasons, I have decided that continuing to work is simply an unnecessary risk at this point.

It would be lovely to say that everyone is taking the proper precautions and making sure that they're not doing anything to exacerbate the situation. That is simply not true. And even if it was, the most well-intentioned people aren't perfect. Will we all get sick and die if we don't quarantine? Of course not. But would I prefer that my family isn't competing for limited health care resources in the face of a pandemic? Absolutely.

So...on to the more important question: How did Day 1 go??

TV: check

Candy: check

Complaining about cancelled visitors, cancelled sleepover and cancelled activities: check

Complaining about cancelled school: ...crickets...

Stock up status: picked up last load of groceries, scored last package of TP

TP status: one Costco 36 roll package, one Charmin 12 mega roll package (very reasonable, IMO)

"I'm bored" count: 0 (What?! This has been the biggest surprise...but give it time)

Fun status: cooking (applesauce and "kiwi soup"...who knew?), face painting, "Quarantine: Day 1" assignment, Magnatile castle creation, backyard "Nature Centre" visit

I'm finally stuck at home with nowhere to go so I'm going to GET S%@T DONE status: cleaned out and organized freezer, organized toiletries and medicine in the linen closet

So you see, we're doing okay. Better than okay. It's early days, but I quite like these humans I've chosen to share my life with, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather be holed up with.

Onward!